Laughing out Loud
-
Apps should be required to give a short explanation for why they need access to different parts of my phone for thier...
-
me: god i love paranormal shit and urban legends
me, after indulging in aforementioned content:
This is the most useless fucking map I’ve ever seen and I love it. I want to print it out and put it on my wall.
My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it.
Here are some of my favorites:
-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin”
-After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human”
-After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket”
-Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call
-One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake.
-After spooning me: “You have a nice butt”
-”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying)
-”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying)
-Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue
-One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue
-One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence
-And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”
(via biandhellafly)
Since everyone has been making these, I decided to make my own compilation of my favorite vines.
(via idkimoutofideas)
(via quasarkisses)
I’ve finally managed to make a vine compilation short enough that Tumblr will let me post it!
(via ichaserabbits)
Otter omg
Otters are puppies of the sea.
tinyscoundrel HOLLY
I am otter
(via gaygirlrey)
think of it as a percentage of heat
40% hot? eh, kind of on the chilly side
75% hot? that’s pretty warm now
20% hot? that’s actually not warm at all
110% hot? we’re dying
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW
Fun fact: the Fahrenheit scale is used in temperature according to how it feels to a human. So looking at in percents actually is what you should do
Now can I get a cheat sheet for Celsius
Ask water how hot it feels.
(via quasarkisses)
(via odin-n-out)
“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” basically mean the same thing
unless you’re at a funeral
(via gaygirlrey)
(via biandhellafly)
what a dumbass
Me graduating highschool
(via quasarkisses)
